Good old end of the worlds. I am in my 30’s and have already weathered a good half dozen apocalypses. Go me! Some have been truly catastrophic while some have been barely spoken about on the news. However, they all have one thing in common: they all make me want to shout “SERIOUSLY – WHAT THE FUCK!”
The worst New Years Eve party I ever went to was for Y2K. I thought it was all a big joke…a good apocalyptic reason to drink too much. However, my fellow partygoers were seriously scared out of their minds. Several didn’t want to drink so they were ready to react to the End of Days. Others were literally, and I use this word in its real sense, rapt with the news coverage of the 386 computer cam they had set up watching “The End”. I shit you not. Once my alcohol soaked mind realized they were really, REALLY scared, I made the mistake ofmaking fun of them. Needless to say I spent Y2K ringing in the new year kissing the beer I had and holding a conversation with the interesting cigarette I was smoking, the only other thing on the porch.
So this apocalypse, I will have the good manners to not make fun of all of the idiot lemmings. This year I plan to exploit them! Little did you know that the Mayan Apocalypse was also tied directly into the undead to finally bring about the most popular and awesome apocalypse there is, the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!
That’s right sucka! Being here, reading this has infected you! You have no choice but to share and spread the infection across Facebook and all other forms of media. What’s more awesome than a fake Mayan Apocalypse? A real Facebook Zombie Apocalypse! Make sure you spread it throughout the day because zombies are insatiable brain eaters and now you are one! Mwhuahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Get to work my zombie minions!