Parents of Future Serial Killers

Here’s one for you, just before Valentines Day.

Disney Rots The Brain
This is why we shouldn’t let anyone watch the damn Disney princess movies.

Seriously, what the fuck do you think is going to happen in a year or two when the dirty lust wears off and he realizes what he has done. It is not going to be pretty. And the kids, the kids! What ever is going to happen to their poor minds being inundated with such terrible tripe.

Love makes us do stupid things. Or is it the crazy wacked out dirty Disney Princess sex?

For more info and photos of the crime scene check out the story: http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/this-couple-really-really-loves-disney-slideshow/disney-couple-wedding-photo–1498996632.html

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Arizona to Make High School Students Swear an Oath to Graduate

The insane douche bag legislators of Arizona are at it again. This time they’re wasting taxpayer time and money with in an attempt to force high school students to swear an oath to God and country. If the students don’t make this pledge, they  can’t graduate. Seriously – what the fuck is wrong with these idiots!?!

Arizona Asshole Legislators to Force Oath for Diploma

Stop wasting our time, you fucking morons. Why not spend some time and effort on legislation that actually helps high school students graduate instead of posing restrictions on those that have made it through school. You should be praising them, not trying to get them to pledge an oath, assholes.

Here’s more if you want to learn more about this piece of shit legislation:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/01/25/arizona-republicans-propose-bill-that-would-not-allow-atheists-to-graduate-high-school/

http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/blog/business/2013/01/proposed-us-loyalty-oath-for-students.html?page=all

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Holiday Texting Moments

The holidays are always full of all kinds of What the FUCK!? moments. Especially when you or your in laws get all blasted on eggnog.

This little gem landed on the couch next to me while we were hanging out and enjoying the holiday festivities. Talk about something more to talk about! HAHA!

seriously-what-the-fuck-shitty-ex

Seriously – What the FUCK!? Are you not even reading the stupid shit you are texting? Hmm, let me think… wait I know how to respond “^^^^^^^^^^^^”!

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Here Comes Another Apocalypse, This Time Mayan Flavored

Good old end of the worlds. I am in my 30’s and have already weathered a good half dozen apocalypses. Go me! Some have been truly catastrophic while some have been barely spoken about on the news. However, they all have one thing in common: they all make me want to shout “SERIOUSLY – WHAT THE FUCK!”

The worst New Years Eve party I ever went to was for Y2K. I thought it was all a big joke…a good apocalyptic reason to drink too much. However, my fellow partygoers were seriously scared out of their minds. Several didn’t want to drink so they were ready to react to the End of Days. Others were literally, and I use this word in its real sense, rapt with the news coverage of the 386 computer cam they had set up watching “The End”. I shit you not. Once my alcohol soaked mind realized they were really, REALLY scared, I made the mistake ofmaking fun of them. Needless to say I spent Y2K ringing in the new year kissing the beer I had and holding a conversation with the interesting cigarette I was smoking, the only other thing on the porch.

So this apocalypse, I will have the good manners to not make fun of all of the idiot lemmings. This year I plan to exploit them! Little did you know that the Mayan Apocalypse was also tied directly into the undead to finally bring about the most popular and awesome apocalypse there is, the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

seriously-what-the-fuck-zombie-apacolypse-facebook-portrait

That’s right sucka! Being here, reading this has infected you! You have no choice but to share and spread the infection across Facebook and all other forms of media. What’s more awesome than a fake Mayan Apocalypse? A real Facebook Zombie Apocalypse! Make sure you spread it throughout the day because zombies are insatiable brain eaters and now you are one! Mwhuahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Get to work my zombie minions!

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Why Oh Why Did They Jar-Jar up The Hobbit

I will preface this rant with this; I did think the Hobbit was a good flick. It was definitely not as good as the Fellowship but Peter Jackson did a pretty good job of bringing us back into Middle Earth into the story that started it all. However…

seriously-what-the-fuck-dwarves-in-clown-shoes

Seriously – What the Fuck inspired Peter Jackson to allow a bunch of cartoony, Jar-Jar Binks-like antics into The Hobbit? Smoke coming out of their ears? Bugs flying in and out of a dwarf’s nose while he is sleeping? And what the fuck was up with the Keystone Cops-style antics during most of the battle scenes? I swear it was like one person imagined half the dwarves as bad asses (as they should be) but then another person decided the other half of the dwarves were fucking clowns. Seriously – fucking clown shoes.

Here’s a hint. Take the rating the movie is going to have and stick to that content level. Stop trying to pander to the tiny children or others with small underdeveloped minds. They have their own movies they can watch. We have ours. I know why so many movies fall into this idiotic trap but please look past the toy sales opportunity and keep some integrity and dignity in this adored and treasured story.

I’m going to assume Peter Jackson was tricked into it by some douchebag exec somewhere when he was totally sleep deprived and powerless against suggestion. However, the pass is used up and he has a year, and two, to correct this egregious mistake and make these movies what they should be. If George Lucas can shelve the shit, so can Peter Jackson.

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